A reader writes:
I have a friend (let`s call her Becky) I have known since we were in middle school, who is now my coworker. In college, it became pretty apparent that she was developing a drinking problem, which has only got worse as she`s gotten older. Because I`ve been around her so many times when she`s very, very intoxicated, I know what she looks and sounds like — the change in her behavior and appearance is quite obvious to me and anyone who knows her well.
We recently returned to the office part time and on a handful of occasions, I was very suspicious she was drunk at the office. I mentioned it to my husband one night and the same evening, completely unprompted, another friend/coworker said she thought Becky was drunk at work that same day, which further confirmed my suspicions. Here's the real deal. She is married to our boss's brother, which makes things even more awkward. so what should i do? Should I tell the boss? Am I resisting her to her? Does she say anything and hope she doesn't make her drunken mistake that will bankrupt her company? I'm really at a loss here.
I answered and asked. “Do you have such a relationship that you can talk to her directly? And in the bureaucratic hierarchy, what kind of authority do you have over that, or are you more equal?
I could talk to her directly, but it would definitely be an awkward conversation. We've been friends for a long time, so I'm a little worried, but maybe we haven't talked much. As for her hierarchy, she doesn't report directly to me, but I'm her department head and she doesn't hold leadership positions.
Talk to her!
She seems to have been friends with her since middle school. Work issues aside, we need friendly conversations. Your good friend got drunk and started going to work! Even if you don't work together, it might be worth joining her for your worries about what's going on.
I understand that it is embarrassing to raise, but ... She comes to work drunk! Repeatedly! And other people notice.
If she continues to do so, her reputation will almost certainly be ruined and she may be fired. And you didn't say whether she drives when drunk, but if she's reckless enough to drive to work drunk, you should also question her judgment about driving.
So give her a say on her! And if that doesn't communicate her hers that way, it might be worth talking to her husband about what you're seeing.
It is our duty as friends.